He Called Me a Servant

It was the best birthday gift

After 9/11, my personal life and career began to unravel. I wound up functionally homeless and jobless. It was hard to remember better times.

Today this popped up. An old friend and co-worker is retiring. He wrote a beautiful retrospective about his time at several companies.

And he wrote a generous note about me:

Stuart has always been inspirational though for me in terms of being a true servant leader. He enabled more than he took, he cleared paths, and he always had great game acumen.

That hit home. It was what I always strove for.

In an industry that rewarded ego and toxicity, I strove to lead differently. It didn’t always work out for me professionally. But it sure did personally.

I honestly don’t know why the leader-as-servant isn’t more prevalent. But the best I’ve worked with saw it that way too.

It helped to remember that times were once better. That I was better.

A year ago, I got another note that was deeply moving:

Hello..I think you’re that Stuart—worked at MSFT in the 90’s Games grp..you were the Director..SL was one of your mgrs..(?)..

This is SG i..was one of a handful of women who was in testing at that time..& married—w/a 4yr old rambunctious boy..and another one in the bun..and you had a toddler too—really the only understanding authority at that time who assured me that work/life balance was ok—just wanted to reach out and say “Thanks-you”..

And another.

And I owe you a personal note of thanks, Stuart, that I never extended properly... your gesture, that computer, made a huge positive impact on my parenting my son in a more sane be-at-home manner. Your gesture absolutely helped me raise my kid in a way that had a profound (I don't exaggerate) impact on his and my relationship and my parenting. But you didn't know anything about any of this, you didn't ask, you sensed something, and took action, and that was the best thing someone could have done at that time to help me. ... I hope it's not too goofy that I'm sharing this ramble with you now (unedited I might add ;->), but I needed to tell you this. Thanks, Stuart! ...

I think many of us doubt our impact. Have we done anything that mattered? Made a difference? Products shipped, many forgotten.

But real life carried on. And sometimes, if we’re lucky, we nudged it in a better direction.